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Location: Athens, Greece

A thing of beauty is a joy forever
Its loveliness increases
It will never pass into nothingness
But still will keep a bower quiet for us
And a sleep full of sweet dreams and health and quiet breathing
Endymion,J.Keats
End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back and all change to silver glass and then you see it.White shores and beyond. A far green country under a swift sunrise
Gandalf
Humanity has the stars in its future, and that future is too important to be lost under the burden of juvenile folly and ignorant superstition
I.Asimov
Our loyalties are to the species and the planet. We speak for Earth. Our obligation to survive is owed not just to ourselves but also to that Cosmos ancient and vast from which we spring
C. Sagan
'O me!O life! of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless--of cities filled with the foolish;what good amid these,O me,O life?
Answer.That you are here that life exists,and identity;that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.'
W.Whitman

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

For Simon......

So there's this guy, Simon Travaglia. The author of BOFH

I've been reading BOFH ever since I can remember myself, well certainly since I was 16 and I was on line.

I cannot remember how many times Simon made me smile, laugh, recognize myself in his stories or wish I recognised myself anyway:)

Over the years I've grown to anticipate every Friday a new BOFH episode with the anticipation of a friendly visit from a friend you hold close to your heart.

So today I visited his website .

Its strange to feel so sorry for someone you never met. Someone you never even talked to. But there are people out there, people you feel connected without ever knowing them. Just from what they write, the way they spend their life, their character.

So for Simon, I am so sorry for your loss my never-met friend. :-(

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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Thoughts


Everyone is so ready to tell you their opinion, what he thinks with such intensity and such confidence, as if they truly really know everything that is going to happen to your own given situation.

Do I choose to listen to them? And to listen to logic also? One moment I say yes the next I say no. And I try to hang back but I slip. Again and again and again. And I wonder is that because I am attracted to the truth or am I simply willingly blind?

One moment I believe this, the next that. And I cannot decide. There are only a few times in my life that I could not see clearly, could not decide. Do you trust your instinct? Do you trust your logic? Most times for me these two are aligned. Yes my logic is a strange one so it does agree with my instinct. But not now.

I find myself more and more longing for loneliness. I take my car and I just drive, drive to nowhere in particular, as if every mile brings me closer to an unknown fate or away from my daemons, I don't know. But the only thing that gives me comfort is the road. Not the destination, just the road. And inevitably I want to be close to the sea. Again I don't know why.

I want to leave, now. I find myself in a condition I have not been for many many years, wanting to just get up and leave. But wherever you go you can never run away from yourself. Or your demons. Or your god.

Loneliness. In a room full of people and I am still alone. Even more than when I am alone and I long for it even more.

I drive all night, as in the song and comfort is temporary, only while the miles are eaten away under my tires. I pass faces on the road, glances of other strangers and I wonder if they too are looking for some kind of comfort.

We all look for comfort I guess, but as the years go by the understanding grows stronger and wiser and comfort becomes even more distant.

I long for a peaceful night sleep. I haven't had one for ages. I guess it comes with intelligence.

Its not how well you fall but how you rise that makes the difference.

As Seneca said, sometimes even to live is an act of courage.

I remember something I hear in a b-movie, have forgotten even what it was about, not to mention the name. But the character said, life is not a problem to be solved, it is a mystery to be lived.

Am I to blame for trying so hard for something I believe, against all logic, against all odds, against all opinions, against even me, that is worth fighting?

Maybe, but that's just me, I 'm a sucker for lost causes:) A sucker for impossible relationships, impossible situations. I would make a great Palladin I guess, always the stupid idiot to sacrifice himself for what he believes, for the Code.

I'm going for a drive.

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Friday, June 23, 2006

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain."

Neil Gaiman

But.......with a head that is tonight trully bloody but still unbowed I say........for as long as it lasts......it feels fuc....ng great!

I miss you today as much as I missed you yesterday multiplied by n (where n -> infinity) minus 1 (because there is always tomorrow)

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Friday, June 16, 2006

Bill Gates

Bill Gates will step down from everyday duties as Microsoft's Chairman and Chief Software Architect in July 2008 to paly a more active role as a humanitarian. (duh?????)

During the Press Conference when he and Steve Balmer announced these news the following took place:

Balmer: "I know the contribution you will make to the world of health and education will be as great as the contribution you have made and continue to make to the world of software,"

Hopefully, for the sake of Africa, that won't come true. (from http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/06/15/gates_leaves_microsoft/)


HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH

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Thursday, June 15, 2006

Friendships

I have a friend, Petros. Now Petros and I met under the strangest circumstances something like 6-7 years ago. I am a Mensa member and I am also a test officer. Petros wanted to take the Mensa test and contacted me.

And as many strange things in life turn out this chance meeting turned out to be a long and lasting friendship.

Petros happens also to be the most handsome guy I know. He is one of these people that men and women turn around to look at in the street. He is GQ-like handsome, drop-dead handsome.

Most people who are so beautiful, like Brad Pitt for example, are usually content with a life of superficial pleasures. Now this guy is not. He studied Physics and is now finishing his PHD in molecular-physics-something.

Since he is hardly ever in Greece we meet occasionally now a couple of times every year.

But the thing is, every time we talk or meet, its like we just continue from where we left of, like time has not passed and it was only yesterday we were together and the same feeling of warmth and friendship is always there.

Petros has the same desperate need to succeed that I have. The same ability to laugh at himself and at the complexities of life. And he loves italian cars:) And if those qualities are not enough to make us friends for life he is also a physicist.

Talking last night, we realized that without us really understanding it our relationship, our really strange friendship which has gone through quite some stuff has lasted for 6 years. A long time for people who met so strangely and meet so occasionally.

Thinking back there are funny moments to remember (hiding in his house from a crazy girlfriend), sad moments (his father being sick), good times (hanging out), crazy moments (taking a walk in the rain because everything in nature is physics.....or just because it feels right), and difficult times like deciding wether to take this friendship to another level or not.

Every time we discussed mine or his relationships we always found something to laugh about, our breakups, our loves, our lives.

Its strange, you meet someone one day, and its a casual simple thing. And then you wake up many years later and you find yourself having lost so many others but this guy, who you never thought would still be there because your lives are so different, still being there.

And you get this warm feeling of having shared (more or less it matters not) these years, so many things having passed but you're both still there.

I guess people who "Dream the impossible dream, Fight the unbeatable foe, Strive with your last once of courage to reach the unreachable star"
if they meet then their bond is for life.

And I'm not really sure when I ll see him again, maybe next weekend or maybe next month, or maybe I 'll just take the morning plane to England just to hang out but the point is that whenever I do he's going to be there.

I guess thats true friendship.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Dream the impossible dream, Fight the unbeatable foe, Strive with your last once of courage to reach the unreachable star

“We take a risk when we open our hearts because the truth is, if we open our hearts, we will get hurt. You can’t open your heart and not have some hurt because you’re in a human experience. Even if it’s the love of your life and you have many wonderful, deepening, growing, powerful years together, it’s a human experience and that person will pass over. Love takes courage. Be courageous.

"Faced with what is right, to leave it undone shows a lack of courage.”

Confucius

“Those who lack the courage will always find a philosophy to justify it.”

Albert Camus

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.”

Anais Nin

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“I represent to you all the sins you have never had the courage to commit.”

Oscar Wilde

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006



Alfa Romeo Diva

Because life....is......about pleasure

And Alfa Romeo is pure, simple, classy, elegant, expensive, heart-breaking, mind-sweeping pleasure.

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Monday, June 12, 2006

Jessica





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Sunday, June 11, 2006

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Friday, June 09, 2006

Questions on life

People are so lonely. And so scared. Scared to live and scared to die.

It is an indisputable truth that the fear of dying will deprive you of living. And what should you do? Its not just that you re afraid to die.......when you re young thats not so bad.

The worst is to know that the people you love, the ones that make up your world, your reality will die.

So you hold on sometimes even to people you don't really want to hold on to from some strange sense of duty or fear or don't know what else.

And you loose.

Sometimes the guilt of leaving someone that seems to need you so so much is enough to keep you with this person and in effect loose something or someone else.

Who or what are you willing to give up for security? And is it worth spending your life in loneliness as a result?

I dunno......I certainly have not been able to compromise with this idea. The point is.....am I asking too much from people?

Perhaps. Most certainly this is a possibility I must entertain.

But I ask so much because I give back so much more. I'm listening to this song now and it says:

"Don't let go, you got the music in you, one dance left, this one will have to pull through, don't let go, you got the music in you, can't forget we only get what we get"

Loneliness is worse when from a brief moment you experience the opposite. True or not , it matters not. The fact is that if your soul stops feeling this immense feeling of loneliness and then this comes back....well then you re shattered.

I have found that keeping busy certainly helps. Work has always been a good antidote, probably cause I love it so much.

But lately I seem to be unable to find this kind of relief. It is certainly difficult. I wonder if I will look back at these times and say to myself what a fool I have been.

Perhaps.

So many questions and dilemmas. I see other people, people who behave with much less compassion and understanding and are much better off. It seems that the the more you understand the less you get back. Or maybe I'm just bitter now:P

I have always been the one to say I need noone. I enjoy the company of friends but need.....this is a word I choose not to use. I have certainly lost too many to allow myself to need again.

I cannot stand being so vulnerable. But the fact is .......you cannot always keep it under control.

What should I do?

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I am the master of my fate

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

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Tuesday, June 06, 2006


“Nobody deserves your tears, but whoever deserves them will not make you cry.”

Gabriel Garcia Marquez

“The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.”

Jim Rohn

“Smile, even if it's a sad smile, because sadder than a sad smile is the sadness of not knowing how to smile.”

“Anger is just a cowardly extension of sadness. It's a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you're hurt.”

Tom Gates

“God whispers in our pleasures, but shouts in our pain.”

C.S. Lewis

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain."

Neil Gaiman

“Do you really think it is weakness that yields to temptation? I tell you that there are terrible temptations which it requires strength, strength and courage to yield to.”

“The heart was made to be broken”


Oscar Wilde

“You don't need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding.”

Guy Finley


“Sad are only those who understand”

Old Arab saying

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Jonathan Livingston Seagull


It was morning, and the new sun sparkled gold across the ripples of a
gentle sea. A mile from shore a fishing boat chummed the water. And the
word for Breakfast Flock flashed through the air, till a crowd of a
thousand seagulls came to dodge and fight for bits of food. It was another busy day beginning.


But way off alone, out by himself beyond boat and shore, Jonathan
Livingston Seagull was practicing. A hundred feet in the sky he lowered
his webbed feet, lifted his beak, and strained to hold a painful hardtwisting curve through his wings. The curve meant that he would fly slowly, and now he slowed until the wind was a whisper in his face, until the ocean stood still beneath him. He narrowed his eyes in fierce concentration, held his breath, forced one... single... more... inch...
of... curve... Then his featliers ruffled, he stalled and fell.

Seagulls, as you know, never falter, never stall. To stall in the air is for them disgrace and it is dishonor.

But Jonathan Livingston Seagull, unashamed, stretching his wings again in that trembling hard curve - slowing, slowing, and stalling once more - was no ordinary bird.
Most gulls don't bother to learn more than the simplest facts of flight - how to get from shore to food and back again. For most gulls, it is not flying that matters, but eating. For this gull, though, it was not eating that mattered, but flight.

More than anything else. Jonathan Livingston Seagull loved to fly.
..............................................................................................................................

When Jonathan Seagull joined the Flock on the beach, it was full night. He was dizzy and terribly tired. Yet in delight he flew a loop to landing, with a snap roll just before touchdown. When they hear of it, he thought, of the Breakthrough, they'll be wild with joy. How much more there is now to living! Instead of our drab slogging forth and back to the fishing boats, there's a reason to life! We can lift ourselves out of ignorance, we can find ourselves as creatures of excellence and intelligence and skill. We can be free! We can learn to fly!
.................................................................................................................

"... one day Jonathan Livingston Seagull, you shall learn that irresponsibility does not pay. Life is the unknown and the unknowable, except that we are put into this world to eat, to stay alive as long as we possibly can."
A seagull never speaks back to the Council Flock, but it was Jonathan's voice raised. "Irresponsibility? My brothers!" he cried. "Who is more responsible than a gull who finds and follows a meaning, a higher purpose for life? For a thousand years we have scrabbled after fish heads, but now we have a reason to live - to learn, to discover, to be free! Give me one chance, let me show you what I've found..."
The Flock might as well have been stone. "The Brotherhood is broken," the gulls intoned together, and with one accord they solemnly closed their ears and turned their backs upon him.

................................................................................................................
Jonathan Seagull spent the rest of his days alone, but he flew way out beyond the Far Cliffs. His one sorrow was not solituile, it was thatother gulls refused to believe the glory of flight that awaited them; they refused to open their eyes and see. He learned more each day.

...............................................................................................................
What he had once hoped for the Flock, he now gained for himself alone; he learned to fly, and was not sorry for the price that he had paid. Jonathan Scagull discovered that boredom and fear and anger are the reasons that a gull's life is so short, and with these gone from his thought, he lived a long fine life indeed.

.................................................................................................................
"Chiang, this world isn't heaven at all, is it?" The Elder smiled in
the moonlight. "You are learning again, Jonathan Seagull," he said.
"Well, what happens from here? Where are we going? Is there no such
place as heaven?"
"No, Jonathan, there is no such place. Heaven is not a place, and it
is not a time. Heaven is being perfect." He was silent for a moment. "You
are a very fast flier, aren't you?"
"I... I enjoy speed," Jonathan said, taken aback but proud that the Elder had noticed.
"You will begin to touch heaven, Jonathan, in the moment that you touch perfect speed. And that isn't flying a thousand miles an hour, or a million, or flying at the speed of light. Because any number is a limit, and perfection doesn't have limits. Perfect speed, my son, is being
there."

The trick, according to Chiang, was for Jonathan to stop seeing himself as trapped inside a limited body that had a forty-two inch wingspan and performance that could be plotted on a chart. The trick was to know that his true nature lived, as perfect as an unwritten number,
everywhere at once across space and time.
................................................................................................................
"We can start working with time if you wish," Chiang said, "till you can fly the past and the future. And then you will be ready to begin the most difficult, the most powerful, the most fun of all. You will be ready to begin to fly up and know the meaning of kindness and of love."

.......................................................................................................
"Sully, I must go back " he said at last "Your students are doing well. They can help you bring the newcomers along." Sullivan sighed, but he did not argue. "I think I'll miss you,
Jonathan," was all he said. "Sully, for shame!" Jonathan said in reproach, "and don't be foolish!
What are we trying to practice every day? If our friendship depends on things like space and time, then when we finally overcome space and time, we've destroyed our own brotherhood! But overcome space, and all we have left is Here. Overcome time, and all we have left is Now. And in the middle of Here and Now, don't you think that we might see each other once
or twice?" Sullivan Seagull laughed in spite of himself. "You crazy bird," he said kindly. "If anybody can show someone on the ground how to see a thousand miles, it will be Jonathan Livingston Seagull." He looked at the sand. "Good-bye, Jon, my friend." "Good bye, Sully. We'll meet again." And with that, Jonathan held in thought an image of the great gull flocks on the shore of another time, and he knew with practiced ease that he was not bone and feather but a
perfect idea of freedom and flight, limited by nothing at all.

................................................................................................................
By the end of three months Jonathan had six other students, Outcasts all, yet curious about this strange new idea of flight for the joy of flying.
Still, it was easier for them to practice high performance than it was to understand the reason behindit. "Each of us is in truth an idea of the Great Gull, an unlimited idea of freedom," Jonathan would say in the evenings on the beach, "and precision flying is a step toward expressing our real nature.Everything that limits us we have to put aside. That's why all this high-speed practice, and low speed, and aerobatics...." ...and his students would be asleep, exhausted from the day's flying. They liked the practice, because it was fast and exciting and it fed a hunger for learning that grew with every lesson. But not one of them, not even Fletcher Lynd Gull, had come to believe that the flight of ideas could possibly be as real as the flight of wind and feather. "Your whole body, from wingtip to wingtip," Jonathan would say, other
times, "is nothing more than your thought itself, in a form you can see. Break the chains of your thought, and you break the chains of your body, too..." But no matter how he said it, it sounded like pleasant fiction,and they needed more to sleep.


...............................................................................................................
The next night from the Flock came Kirk Maynard Gull, wobbling across the sand, dragging his leftwing,to collapse at Jonathan's feet. "Help me," he said very quietly, speaking in the way that the dying speak. "I want to fly more than anything else in the world..." "Come along then." said Jonathan. "Climb with me away from the ground, and we'll begin." "You don't understand My wing. I can't move my wing." "Maynard Gull, you have the freedom to be yourself, your true self, here and now, and nothing can stand in your way.It is the Law of the Great Gull, the Law that Is.""Are you saying I can fly?"

"I say you are free."


........................................................................................................

As simply and as quickly as that, Kirk Maynard Gull spread his wings,
effortlessly, and lifted into the dark night air. The Flock was roused from sleep by his cry, as loud as he could scream it, from five hundredfeet up: "I can fly! Listen! I CAN FLY!"
By sunrise there were nearly a thousand birds standing outside the circle of students, looking curiously at Maynard. They didn't care whether they were seen or not, and they listened, trying to understand Jonathan Seagull. He spoke of very simple things - that it is right for a guil to fly, that freedom is the very nature of his being, that whatever stands against that freedom must be set aside, be it ritual or superstition or limitation in any form. "Set aside," came a voice from the multitude, "even if it be the Law of the Flock?"

"The only true law is that which leads to freedom," Jonathan said. "There is no other."

..................................................................................................
"Why is it," Jonathan puzzled, "that the hardest thing in the world is to convince a bird that he is free, and that he can prove it for himself if he'd just spend a little time practicing? Why should that be so hard?" Fletcher still blinked from the change of scene. "What did you just do? How did we get here?" "You did say you wanted to be out of the mob, didn't you?" "Yes! But how did you..." "Like everything else, Fletcher. Practice." By morning the Flock had forgotten its insanity, but Fletcher had not. "Jonathan, remember what you said a long time ago, about lovin the Flock enough to return to it and help it learn?" "Sure." "I don't understand how you manage to love a mob of birds that has just tried to kill you."
"Oh, Fletch, you don't love that! You don't love hatred and evil, of course. You have to practice and see the real gull, the good in every one of them, and to help them see it in themselves. That's what I mean by love. It's fun, when you get the knack of it.
.............................................................................................................
Fletcher turned to his instructor, and there was a moment of fright in his eye. "Me leading? What do you mean, me leading? You're the instructor here. You couldn't leave!"
"Couldn't I? Don't you think that there might be other flocks, other Fletchers, that need an instructor more than this one, that's on its way toward the light?"
"Me? Jon, I'm just a plain seagull and you're... " " ...the only Son of the Great Gull, I suppose?" Jonathan sighed and looked out to sea. "You don't need me any longer. You need to keep finding
yourself, a little more each day, that real, unlimited Fletcher Seagull. He's your instructor. You need to understand him and to practice him." A moment later Jonathan's body wavered in the air, shimmering, and began to go transparent. "Don't let them spread silly rumors about me, or
make me a god. O.K., Fletch? I'm a seagull. I like to fly, maybe..." "JONATHAN!"
"Poor Fletch. Don't believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding, find out what you already know, and you'll see the way to fly."

The shimmering stopped. Jonathan Seagull had vanished into empty air.

................................................................................................................
I was 10 when my mom gave me this book. As most important things in life it came quietly, in the form of a small book. My mom said "Read it, u won't be able to stop untill you ve finished it". I thought what the hell.

Turns out she was right.

I started reading it out of boredom. I finished reading it a different person.

It is a lonely life, one that is lived in love of flight. Still, as Jonathan did, such a life is the only choice such beings have. Any other life choice is unthinkable. So therefore you are destined to spend your life lonely , taking the road less travelled but happy still. And if you are lucky at the end of the Journey you will have found the meaning of kindness and love. And you will be able to see through the appearances and find the kindness and goodness in others. And love it.

I love to fly. And I m lonely.

Jonathan Livinston Seagull ...I think made me who I am. And for that I m eternally grateful.

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Sunday, June 04, 2006

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Thursday, June 01, 2006

Just things...




Wanted
$10,000 reward.
Schroedinger's Cat.

Dead or Alive


If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Common sense is the
collection of prejudices acquired by age 18. (now that's something a friend of mine should definatelly get!)

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.

Einstein once said that it would be hard to teach in a co-ed college since guys were only looking on girls and not listening to the teacher. He was objected that they would be listening to him very attentively, forgetting about any girls. But such guys won't be worth teaching, - replied the great man.

In the period that Einstein was active as a professor, one of his students came to him and said: "The questions of this year's exam are the same as last years!" "True," Einstein said, "but this year all answers are different."

What's the difference between an auto mechanic and a quantum mechanic?
The quantum mechanic can get the car inside the garage without opening the door.

Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. (nope.....and it definattely cannot be held responsible for the bumpy landing afterwards) :S

– Albert Einstein


Why did the chicken cross the road?

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

Wolfgang Pauli: There already was a chicken on this side of the road.





It is my bitter experience that when things just don't seem to work out, when u feel...well crap actually ;) you can always count on the masters to cheer u up.

No matter how bad I feel, how awfull things just seem to me at the moment........Einstein always seems to put things in perspective. If you see the big picture than perhaps.....perhaps you don't hurt as much.........

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