One year........

So....August 1st :)

One year ago I was getting ready to change my life one more time and switch over to the company I work for now.

As always the change was a big one, but also a welcome one. Thinking back to one year of trying and exhausting myself, both physically and mentally and emotionally I can now say that it was a risk worth taking. I did make the right choice and my bet was a succesful one, at least up till now. And I'm very optimistic as to how things will play out.

However I find myself extremely tired, mentally and psychologically. I definitely need vacations and a drastic change of scenery. Probably more than a change of scenery.

(ok how can you write about serious stuff when you're listening to Roll over Bethoven? lololololol)

Music is probably one of the most drastic drugs...that and chocolate....and sugar:))))

I don't remember the last time I ate chocolate.......

After a year I've come to be close with people in this company I never thought I would be.......and its strange...I come to work in the morning and yes of course I don't particularly feel like I'm going to a party its work....but I know I'll see a couple of faces that we can laugh with, and gossip with and laugh about stuff and.......after many occasions of staying up together in crisis....after respect has been won....friendship can now grow....and its great:)

So Aris K. and Haris K. and Ioanna T. (andreas k.: all these women in the bar -in amsterdam- and all were looking at her!) and George K. and Alex P. and Nik L. and Vasilis K. and Dimitris T. (what are these cows doing here? what parade? - lol)and Akis P. (thanx for the appricots):) and Stelios P. (why do you need access in between building A and B? So my feet don't get wet when it rains......Well I can't argue with that! U have your access):P and especially Andreas K. (care for another test account in AAA at 3 A.M. over the phone? - what makes a good friday? a cable on the company outside-WAN router without anything else in between.......all the corporate bandwidth! - and you inherit my motorola):P and Petros T. (we hate the dispatcher and love Alfa Romeo):)and Evi D. (for all these hours chatting...msn/phone/live...you were right) and Thodoris (you know Tatiana she always gets what she wants - do not prove me wrong).....its great spending my everyday life with you:)

(Andreas just walked in......I asked him suggestions for holidays and he said Peru........ok he knows me:P.......)

I take a look on the floor now, almost everyone is gone, only Aris is still here and of course the guys down at the NMC and TCS. And yet the network is as alive as ever. It is an experience you only get to live at telecomms....there's no rest, no stop, no off working hours.....every minute counts. Its a hard field to be in.......but I love it.

I have experienced so many things in this company...even things I didn't think I would.......things that at one point made me really happy and at another so sad that even the smallest smile was a hardship. And its difficult to deal with this. After 4 months of this......I've had more than enough:(

I feel fragile......thats strange for me.

And I am angry.

I made a decision after Ogilvy which I broke. And I am now paying the price which is bigger than I expected. I can handle it but I do not enjoy it (of course):)

Is one experience worth its cost? Is looking to the stars worth paying for it dearly? Can you trust yourself when your emotions fool you? Is a nightsky full of stars worth the morning after?


I try to make it through everyday without thinking anything else but the present. If I think of next day, next week I cannot hold on. I guess this is the only way to deal with these situations. But I miss my peace. I miss ...well I miss myself really. I feel lost. I need to find me again.


And the only way to do that is to travel. Alone. And far far away.

Peru is a good idea:) I always wanted to travel the road of the Incas and see Machu Piccu :)

I miss going on an airplane and leaving the ground for an unknown destination...for a new adventure. I think I'm ready for another adventure as Bilbo says at the end of the Lord of the Rings. My recent experiences have taken me very close to loosing my faith in people and loosing ...my hope:( Thats a tragic emotion for me. I need to reclaim that.

I need to get away, I need so much to get away its almost physical.

But I cannot.

Oh well......life will short things out sooner or later. Please make it sooner ........

(I'm listening to Sooner or later by Duncan James......

Welcome to the club of broken hearts
Where a thousand lonely souls have passed
Sooner or later you’re gonna wake up and find what your looking for
Like a diamond washed up on the shore
In the meantime you’re feeling like your lost without a friend
Sooner or later you’re gonna love again

Love, has left you rejected
You, put up your defences
Now, your heart’s been tried and tested )