Its been almost 2 weeks I've been back from England.

So why haven't I written anything?

The truth is it's been such an experience that I found it difficult to share it (I haven't), write about it or even reflect upon it.

I've been waiting for this day for 20 years. 20 years is a long time to wait....for anything. And it was not just a childhood infatuation.....the presence of this person in my life (because it was a presence many times more alive than many others that sahould have been active in my life) has made me what I am today and possibly what I will become and for that I am eternally grateful.

Lets take it from the beginning.....and carefully because I want to remember in the time to come.

Up to the last minute I was not sure I was going to go. Problems with the plane ticket (resolved at 6 in the morning of the day of my flight), problems at home.....and a general feeling of not wanting to go for many reasons.

It was only late at night only hours before having to go to the airport that I decided that no matter what else was happening, no matter my feelings I was going to go because.......I owed it to myself...to know.

In every relationship I ever had, in every big decision, in every moment of despair or pain but also in every moment of hope the thought of this man has given me strength but has also haunted me....so I had to know.

So I took the plane and in these 4 hours I felt I was leaving everything behind and was beginning an adventure and a quest. Besides....I was going to Avalon. What a better place for myths and dreams....they come from the same place.

Landed, took the Heathrow Express, arrived at Paddington, took the train to Temple Meads and after 2 hours arrived in Bristol. Another 2 hours of hard thinking. Lots of thinking.......

And then arrived at the Bristol Royal Marriot

What a great hotel! Great room, laaaarge bed, laaaaaaaarge bath, fireplace...great just great. Took a walk in the old town, visited the Xmas market, met a great lady that sold ornaments and books of magic, talked with lots of people and especially 3 lovely lads Duncan, Ross and Jim. Had dinner and headed back in order to sleep, the next was the big day.

Woke up, had a laaaaaaaarge breakfast (my God the English do enjoy their breakfast) and then after changing outfits for half an hour left the hotel to take the bus to Wells.

Another 1 hour of thinking but traveling through the most beautiful English countryside and entering Sommerset. It was such a beautiful day, with he most amazing sun, not at all english weather and as I was listening to music (especially the remix of In your Eyes) I had a strange calmness that I did not expect since this was the day I was expecting for so long.

My mom called me and she reminded me of all the times that I watched MacGyver as a kid in our country house, how my grandfather was always the one telling everyone to leave me alone to watch my favorite show......how many times I came back from school to watch MacGyver etc etc.

Anyway, I arrived in Wells , got off the bus, registered, took my pass......and looked around. What a great day! There was a Xmas bazaar in front of the Bishop's Palace

And after entering the large gates I saw this great castle, with a pond around it, swans and the works. I was talking to myh mom on the phone and I remember distinctively myself telling her that right now, at this moment, life cannot get any better. A clear crystal moment of happiness.

Got in the palace, met up with the rest of the guys and waited in a large room with large windows :)

And then RDA and Amanda walked in.

I cannot really remember clearly these moments I was kind of in a trance. I do remember RDA, I remember that what I noticed right away was the humbleness and the sense of self sarcasm, the humor and the little bitterness that characterizes him now.

We were talking about his favorite charity, the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society and someone asked how he chose this charity between so many.

And RDA replied that there are so many charities, so many things that need be done in this world that in order to do some good you have to concentrate in one or two. He said we all came from the waters so that's why he loves this one, looked at Amanda and laughed cause we were in a church and Amanda said so. And that great man replied 'Well it doesn't matter, I'm sure He knows what I'm talking about...or She'. It is this moment that I remember more clearly than any other, which clarified for me the certainty of my feelings for this man.

(full description can be found here)

Afterwards at the afternoon tea, I told Rick that I started watching MacGyver when I was 6, he looked at me and said 'Now why did you have to say that, I don't even dare ask how old you are now' , and we laughed , discussed a bit about Greece and Wyllie and his new house etc etc......the moment he approached me and started talking to me I got a call from my boyfriend and I was like, now what answer the phone (Rick hates mobiles) or not? Sorry hon, couldn't answer the phone :P (this picture is an update from rdanderson.com....without knowing it during our conversation a photographer took our picture...so here it is:))
http://www.rdanderson.com/archives/a6-11-24g.htm
and also here:
http://www.avalon2006.co.uk/photographs3.htm

Later on in the afternoon there was the photo session. I walked in the room with Rick And Amanda, started laughing cause I hate having my picture taken, Rick hugged me and Amanda did too, the first picture was a disaster, and Rick turned to me told me to relax (HOW CAN I RELAX WHEN RDA IS HOLDING ME IN HIS ARMS I MEAN COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Amanda made a funny face and the photographer was making funny faces....it was so funny I waas laughing in the picture.

I was leaving the room but turned back, went to Rick and told him it was an honor and a privilege to meet him, meet them both. Amanda hugged me and Rick took my hand, kissed it and said the privilege was his, meeting such a lady from Greece (blush, faint etc). And then he hugged me (in the RDA way) and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. He said I wish I knew what to say in greek for such a parting. I said that in Greece we would say just 'Gia hara', and he replied 'Gia hara it is then, till we meet again'

Ok nearly fainted (do I sound silly? probably but I don't care)

The rest of the night is like a blur, the auction, the meeting in the pub and then the journey back to Bristol.

Such a day.......I could not believe its over, but I also felt a kind of blankness......had not yet realised it and it was a long time before I did.

Meeting RDA...how do I feel after meeting him? Have I changed my mind, has he become more human in my eyes?

He certainly does. I realized that everything I thought about this great man is true, that I was not infatuated with a fantasy but with the true man. I respect and look up to this man, I am grateful for how he changed my life, and I am still utterly, completely in love with this guy. Not in any real way......but in a way that tells me that this is what being in love should feel like......

Honesty, modesty, a heart full of journeys, humility, a mind always searching, always evolving, loneliness, hope, strength, self-sarcarm, humour, sympathy, ingenuity......a few of the things that come to mind about Rick.

Coming home is a blur, I visited Bath the next day, and the next was spent all day travellin to get back home.

I look upon the chalice reminding me of Avalon, look upon the picture with me Rick and Amanda.....

I know that this was a once in a lifetime thing and I feel that at least for 2 days RDA and I were looking upon the same stars. I looked up in the sky when leaving the Bishops Palace, the night was soo cold and the sky was full of stars......my God full of stars :) And I thought that now, right now at this very moment we are under the same sky.

Too romantic? Maybe but this is my blog :)

It took me 2 weeks to be able to share , write about this experience. What has happened it hese 2 weeks is of no importance at the moment.

Xmas is coming, elections in Mensa are coming, the weekend is here.....but all I can right now think about is me, entering the Bishop's Palace, telling my mom that life just cannot get any better right now, and seeing Rick.

If you really want something then the Universe will give you a hand in order to achieve it.

I've had the time of my life. Thanks RDA for being the man you are and for helping me be the person that I am. Because having the courage to be yourself, your true self is a decision and a life choice not easily made .....especially if that means being alone and fighting alone.