It only took 1 month

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction
that we are loved -- loved for ourselves,
or rather,
loved in spite of ourselves.


Victor Hugo



So ..... I'm back.


World did you miss me? I know I 've missed me.

It is strange to re-feel yourself like you haven't for a long time. Like coming home after a long journey.

The thing that puzzles me is that.....it did not happen because of something terribly signifcant, a word, a fight, a discussion...something!

It just ..... happened. As I wrote (but didn't exactly believe at the moment) one day you just wake up and the sun is shining (in my case raining but whatever) and you feel light and relieved.

So strange. I still cannot believe it.

But my soul is peacefull. I look at the street outside my window at the office and I feel no pain. I feel.....happy.....:)

I listen to music and I sing along the words. I drive up the hill near my house and all I see is the view.

Humans are so strange creatures.

I know now that healing my way was the right way. You (I) cannot heal the way others want you too. Nobody can actually understand the strange way my mind works so I did it my way, as the song goes:)

And all that crap people tell you about moving on immediattely etc etc are just that! Crap! By people unable or unwilling to face the music (in this case the pain) of healing.

I wonder these people....are they totaly cheap in their soul? Or just afraid? I used to think afraid now I say cheap.

Or maybe there are 2 kinds...the ones that are afraid so they react immediatelly in order to avoid the pain.....and the ones that are just ...cheap. Cheap in heart and soul and mind.

Well I'm tired of cheap people.

If the best company for me is Carl Sagan and Isaac Asimov and a glass of wine (or Diet Coke or Fanta) than that's what I'll live with. And guess what.....I'm pretty happy right about now:))))

(Now if Mr.Darcy comes along I will not say no...after all I always wanted to see Pemberly):P