My job
This was -is- a horrible month. A terrible month. One of the very worst.
A month that was supposed to be one of the very best, one that I would visit one of my most beloved places in the world and would get to forget at least for a while the reality that I'd be leaving behind.
Well things didn't turn out so well. I got sick and got the first plane home, continued to be sick for the next 3 weeks and am still quite weak, with a lot less weight but 'ready for the beach' as my friends say...
Anyway many things happened during this really dark time, dark not only because I've been sick but also because I came across in a multitude of situations with the cruelty of the modern man. (by man I mean human not actually men)
At this point sitting in my office sounds almost like a blessing to me because it signifies that things are getting back to normal.
Plus people here have become without my understanding it, almost something like family.
It is strange how the people you spend so many hours everyday become so close to you, they know your moods, your smiles, your laughter, your sorrows.
Anyhow, it has been many years since I ve started working. My field is one of the most competitive and hard to work into.
Long hours, unexpected network and so many other problems, upgrades, planning, improvising, troubleshooting etc etc.
I have no knowledge of any other woman in my kind of work , its hard and not really woman friendly.
It took me many years to actually prove who I am, what I am, and actually become who I am, a person who has the whole network topology in her head, someone who can read source Radius code and so many other things not being mentioned here.
It has and continues to cost me a lot , this job. So why do I choose to do it? Because I need the money? Definitely, we all work for money, but its not the main reason.
Ever since I touched my first keyboard, I was only 9, I knew instinctively that this was a life altering moment.
Managing large networks, managing the flow of information, troubleshooting, planning , engineering, improvising.......I love it. I love I absolutely love computer science and especially anything that has to do with the Net.
It changed my life, I believe it changed the life of the whole human race and it is my honour and privilege to work on it.
And not just that. My work signifies me, a large part of me anyway. I have worked so very hard, with the dedication of a trained Olympic athlete and the conviction of a believer to build this persona.
I work to provide for myself, I work to interact with others in my own field, I work to feel useful and I work at this field because it gives me a sense of meaning.
There are many jobs that give you 'free time' and 'quality of life'. That usually means that either you have lots of money or that you're looking for a rich husband.
Well I'm neither. I work in this field because I dig it, because I really want to become what I dreamt of becoming and because I'm ready to make the necessary sacrifices to do so. I do not particularly enjoy the long hours or the on calls but if it wasn't for us then there would not be a whole Internet community out there to begin with.
We are the old ones, the ones that actually built the networks and it is my pride that a big part of this network is built with my assistance.
It takes strength and will and determination and a strong sense of logic to survive in here. But it also gives back the sense of belonging to this global community of dreamers who connect the world through fiber and cat-5.
When I swipe my magnetic card and enter one of our data rooms way down under the earth level I look around and I feel proud and happy.
And that is what this job is for me.........
A month that was supposed to be one of the very best, one that I would visit one of my most beloved places in the world and would get to forget at least for a while the reality that I'd be leaving behind.
Well things didn't turn out so well. I got sick and got the first plane home, continued to be sick for the next 3 weeks and am still quite weak, with a lot less weight but 'ready for the beach' as my friends say...
Anyway many things happened during this really dark time, dark not only because I've been sick but also because I came across in a multitude of situations with the cruelty of the modern man. (by man I mean human not actually men)
At this point sitting in my office sounds almost like a blessing to me because it signifies that things are getting back to normal.
Plus people here have become without my understanding it, almost something like family.
It is strange how the people you spend so many hours everyday become so close to you, they know your moods, your smiles, your laughter, your sorrows.
Anyhow, it has been many years since I ve started working. My field is one of the most competitive and hard to work into.
Long hours, unexpected network and so many other problems, upgrades, planning, improvising, troubleshooting etc etc.
I have no knowledge of any other woman in my kind of work , its hard and not really woman friendly.
It took me many years to actually prove who I am, what I am, and actually become who I am, a person who has the whole network topology in her head, someone who can read source Radius code and so many other things not being mentioned here.
It has and continues to cost me a lot , this job. So why do I choose to do it? Because I need the money? Definitely, we all work for money, but its not the main reason.
Ever since I touched my first keyboard, I was only 9, I knew instinctively that this was a life altering moment.
Managing large networks, managing the flow of information, troubleshooting, planning , engineering, improvising.......I love it. I love I absolutely love computer science and especially anything that has to do with the Net.
It changed my life, I believe it changed the life of the whole human race and it is my honour and privilege to work on it.
And not just that. My work signifies me, a large part of me anyway. I have worked so very hard, with the dedication of a trained Olympic athlete and the conviction of a believer to build this persona.
I work to provide for myself, I work to interact with others in my own field, I work to feel useful and I work at this field because it gives me a sense of meaning.
There are many jobs that give you 'free time' and 'quality of life'. That usually means that either you have lots of money or that you're looking for a rich husband.
Well I'm neither. I work in this field because I dig it, because I really want to become what I dreamt of becoming and because I'm ready to make the necessary sacrifices to do so. I do not particularly enjoy the long hours or the on calls but if it wasn't for us then there would not be a whole Internet community out there to begin with.
We are the old ones, the ones that actually built the networks and it is my pride that a big part of this network is built with my assistance.
It takes strength and will and determination and a strong sense of logic to survive in here. But it also gives back the sense of belonging to this global community of dreamers who connect the world through fiber and cat-5.
When I swipe my magnetic card and enter one of our data rooms way down under the earth level I look around and I feel proud and happy.
And that is what this job is for me.........
posted by Tatiana | 3:05 pm
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