Oracle - part I

ARERR [552] Failure during SQL operation to the database : ORA-01691: unable to extend lob segment ARADMIN.SYS_LOB0000072517C00016$$ by 1024 in tablespace ARSYSTEM

Ahh always count on Oracle.......(there IS enough space in the (#%(%$*%@(#*%@*()%*@)*%)@* disk!)

P.S.

Focus and strength - * With or without you

Decisions, decisions, decisions.....

From the smallest to the biggest, what to eat, which movie to see, continue striving with work and university when clearly overworked and tired, allowing people in and so many others.

My last university essay (a topic I'm pursuing just because I want to and has nothing to do with my industry, Computer Science) had to do with the Dark Ages and Early New Europe (Λιμοί και Λιμός LOL!!!!!!!! - very very private joke for a couple of eyes only).

I find myself not conflicted but strangely satisfied by my field of work and my field of studying at the moment. They say that there comes a time you stop studying, but not for me. I wish I had the time to go through everything that has to do with the human condition, how we perceive the universe, philosophically and scientifically, how we have evolved, who are we, what are we doing here.........studying for the joy of it is probably never stop asking the questions.

And, God, there are so many to ask :-)

Robert Frost said

'Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both and be one traveler; long I stood and looked down one as far as I could to where it bent in the undergrowth;
- Then took the other, as just as fair, and having perhaps the better claim, because it was grassy and wanted wear; though as for that, the passing there had worn them really about the same.
- And both that morning equally lay, in leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.
- I shall be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence; two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.'

Cliche but true nonetheless.....

But I'm also dissapointed....well maybe dissapointed is not a proper word. In the past year I have fought with any and all strength that I could muster to stay afloat. And, to my great surprise, it seems I did.

I didn't quit university, I didnt quit my job, I was broken but it really doesn't matter how you fall but how you rise.....and I managed to rise in so many ways. And now, when I'm starting to get into balance, here comes something to blow me out of balance.

Worth it? I thought so......I would like to think so. Is that objective? No......is that right? What are the criteria to judge?

What I do know is that people very rarely find people that they consider unique. Divine beasts I should say in a world filled with anything but.......

And there are words, actions, thoughts that scar people......scar them and make them ache. Strong people can distinguish and even with a considerable effort and pain make a calculated decision. And rise to meet Life.

One asks you to open up and break the borders of your solitude for him. Well first of all he has to have the strenght and the will to do it for himself as well , and probably, be so kind as not to ask you to take such a huge bet on......blind faith. Faith....I have all the faith in the world in Newton's law of gravity. And I would bet my life on that.....all other bets....are difficult.

People.....as the song goes, 'everybody's got to learn sometime'. So if you want me to change , you gotta change as well.

I have my clusters and my databases and my Dark Ages and my music and my books and my memories and my solitude and all that consists and makes up Me. And that is worth to be appreciatted for itself, not compared nor used as a substitute. After all, if you're not the Leading Lady of your life you're always gonna be a supporting Actor.

My body is recovering, my mind is recovering and strong, my will is unbent......I want it all because I nearly escaped the Great Reaper so for now I want it all and I want it now.

Isn't that one of the things that make me human? I think so.

There is no innocence, only degrees of guilt - somethings never change - . Careful with your own.........guilt or innocence.

As the song goes ' I can't accept that we're going nowhere, lay down beside me, one last time lets go there....'

I ask for focus and strenght......

* Listening to With or without you by Connie Williams

OTH Budget

I hate budget meetings! I hate them hate them hate them.

(scream out loud) I HATE THEM.

There....I said my piece......then again Simon always knew what to do in budget meetings.....I miss Simon -sigh-

My job

This was -is- a horrible month. A terrible month. One of the very worst.

A month that was supposed to be one of the very best, one that I would visit one of my most beloved places in the world and would get to forget at least for a while the reality that I'd be leaving behind.

Well things didn't turn out so well. I got sick and got the first plane home, continued to be sick for the next 3 weeks and am still quite weak, with a lot less weight but 'ready for the beach' as my friends say...

Anyway many things happened during this really dark time, dark not only because I've been sick but also because I came across in a multitude of situations with the cruelty of the modern man. (by man I mean human not actually men)

At this point sitting in my office sounds almost like a blessing to me because it signifies that things are getting back to normal.

Plus people here have become without my understanding it, almost something like family.

It is strange how the people you spend so many hours everyday become so close to you, they know your moods, your smiles, your laughter, your sorrows.

Anyhow, it has been many years since I ve started working. My field is one of the most competitive and hard to work into.

Long hours, unexpected network and so many other problems, upgrades, planning, improvising, troubleshooting etc etc.

I have no knowledge of any other woman in my kind of work , its hard and not really woman friendly.

It took me many years to actually prove who I am, what I am, and actually become who I am, a person who has the whole network topology in her head, someone who can read source Radius code and so many other things not being mentioned here.

It has and continues to cost me a lot , this job. So why do I choose to do it? Because I need the money? Definitely, we all work for money, but its not the main reason.

Ever since I touched my first keyboard, I was only 9, I knew instinctively that this was a life altering moment.

Managing large networks, managing the flow of information, troubleshooting, planning , engineering, improvising.......I love it. I love I absolutely love computer science and especially anything that has to do with the Net.

It changed my life, I believe it changed the life of the whole human race and it is my honour and privilege to work on it.

And not just that. My work signifies me, a large part of me anyway. I have worked so very hard, with the dedication of a trained Olympic athlete and the conviction of a believer to build this persona.

I work to provide for myself, I work to interact with others in my own field, I work to feel useful and I work at this field because it gives me a sense of meaning.

There are many jobs that give you 'free time' and 'quality of life'. That usually means that either you have lots of money or that you're looking for a rich husband.

Well I'm neither. I work in this field because I dig it, because I really want to become what I dreamt of becoming and because I'm ready to make the necessary sacrifices to do so. I do not particularly enjoy the long hours or the on calls but if it wasn't for us then there would not be a whole Internet community out there to begin with.

We are the old ones, the ones that actually built the networks and it is my pride that a big part of this network is built with my assistance.

It takes strength and will and determination and a strong sense of logic to survive in here. But it also gives back the sense of belonging to this global community of dreamers who connect the world through fiber and cat-5.

When I swipe my magnetic card and enter one of our data rooms way down under the earth level I look around and I feel proud and happy.

And that is what this job is for me.........

VSA FAIL

*#$&%#(#(%(%&@(@(@#U(@(@&(@(@$@)()%^*&%^(*&%(^*&%(*

VSA Fail vendor specific attribute fail my @ss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All day today.....all VPN's!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Changes

So this is the end of an era. We are merging with another company and this is probably the end of our situation as we know it.

Probably people will leave, maybe locations will change and so many other things but what worries me the most is that we will loose our everyday reality as we know it. We had a way of doing things, of communicating, of.....Oh I dunno its hard to explain but I know I'm going to miss it terribly.

Anyway that is all a process that will take some time.

On the other hand recent events have forced me to think on the nature of intimacy and closeness. Also on the maturity that is required to be able to coexist with a person, not just be obsessed or transfixed by passion for sometime and then be unable to move to the next level.

So is it in fact possible to fall in love and stay in love for ever?

Probably not in the strict sense of this sentence. You fall in and out of love many times cause that is the nature of the human brain, we need variety, we are ingenious beings and require change.

Why do we fall in love when it is so painful and we risk so much of our soul in the process? Because when it happens you hear Puccini (just put the name of your favorite artist there - for me it is Nessun Dorma from Turandot - Puccini's final and most exquisite masterpiece) in your brain all day. Because everything is suddenly lifted to the next level and you feel as if your strength is endless. Because it just feels f*cking great.

And also for those who mature with age this also gets worse as the years go by because as their humanity evolves so does the level of feeling and understanding. So falling in love gets more difficult and also a lot more severe.

Falling in love as you grow older , as you mature is something more earth shattering than the agony of your first love because you now carry all this burden.

As a friend put it, you have a buffer that is at first empty. As it fills up it gets a lot more difficult to flush anything out.

Can the agony of being in love, of passion , be followed by years of equal intensity? Probably not but there you have all the intimacy that has been formed in the process. I always thought that if 2 people that were determined to never stop evolving found each other than they would never stop being in love because there would always be something new to find out....together....

If the nature of a soulmate is something that is achievable then I guess that is what it should be like.

This was for me Carl Sagan And Annie Druyan.

When Carl Sagan died it was for me devastating. Reading the epilogue written by Annie the following passage brought me to tears :

"Contrary to the fantasies of the fundamentalists, there was no deathbed conversion, no last minute refuge taken in a comforting vision of a heaven or an afterlife. For Carl, what mattered most was what was true, not merely what would make us feel better. Even at this moment when anyone would be forgiven for turning away from the reality of our situation, Carl was unflinching. As we looked deeply into each other's eyes, it was with a shared conviction that our wondrous life together was ending forever."

In his chapter "The Fine Art of Baloney Detection" from The Demon-Haunted World: Science As A Candle In The Dark (Sagan's last book while he was alive, and the one most critical of religion), Carl wrote:

"If some good evidence for life after death were announced, I'd be eager to examine it; but it would have to be real scientific data, not mere anecdote. As with the face on Mars and alien abductions, better the hard truth, I say, than the comforting fantasy. And in the final tolling it often turns out that the facts are more comforting than the fantasy."

Sentiments like these are infinitely more moving, more courageous, more meaningful than any hymn or sermon that I have ever heard.

In such a short life we have here it is important, vital, critical and so many more words that do not come to mind to grasp the chances, to achieve this kind of intimacy with a soulmate.

As you grow older it gets so much more difficult for those of us with intriguing minds and evolving humanity.

And sometimes it get devastating.

And I still miss Carl Sagan....damn it!

NOC

Now that's a NOC!!!!

Black terminals

We do so many things everyday...and we get used to them and they seem trivial and maybe even easy....

But I grabbed a screenshot of my desktop today for other reasons and at the end of the day, before deleting the jpg I looked at it....

And I thought...I ve come a long way from the teenager who logged into the hol BBS with a 14400 modem.......

A really long way:) I always thought that people who look at black terminals with letters passing through must be really guru-smart...

And now I m just casually doing it and finding it also fairly easy......its been a long time indeed:)

Get Perpendicular

Now for serious geeks only this is a great hardware goodie to watch :

http://www.hitachigst.com/hdd/research/recording_head/pr/PerpendicularAnimation.html

Its absolutely great.......

Hold on to people they're slipping away

I think this is the first day after a week I'm actually home at night and not at work.

More than 3 days I've spent more than 24 hours at work...came home only to sleep and then back again...

The destruction we faced was the worst I've ever seen......how strange that we managed to recover part of our most essential data with the help of Oracle, the company I've had interviews with for the last couple of weeks and expect an answer from.....

Hard times.....and unexpected.

Intelligence....it overcomes all barriers distance, language, culture.....and all that's left is the basic human need of communication and the never ending hope that there is someone out there that can break the boundaries of your loneliness.

I never thought that a voice can heal the wounds of a past not so distant , not entirely but still at an extent unimaginable.

How can you miss someone you've never met?

P.S. Moby and Mylene Farmer

It may sound a bit of a cliche but the truth is you recognize your true friends, the people who actually love you or care for you in the hard times.

I'm faced with a mean and unjust attitude by people at work and it's really hurtful.

However there are some people who do stand by me , who care and with the slightest actions or words of comfort are there for me.

And people I never knew cared for me....or never expected. Like Michael from marketing.

So a big thanx especially to Andreas .....

What a week......

First I probably slept each night of the week around 2 hours.....the launch of the new products as well as the provisioning upgrade for the LLU and the change in the BRAS.....well to sum everything up as MacGyver once called it this was Hell Week.

But it turned out ok...more than ok:)

Then.....well I keep wondering if I am a romantic or plain simple stupid.....I do wonder about that.....

I guess time will show in the very near future but I am quite concerned since risks like this are more than likely possible to cost you your soul and mine has already been compromised.

But ....it feels so fuc...ing great!:) I am able to smile again....truly.....will it last I wonder?

What a strange week.......

First someone I thought would not leave work.....announced he is leaving. And even though I thought some time ago I would be very very sad.......now it just feels like the end of an era, an era that is already long gone. However...whenever we talk.........I wonder.

Then on Thursday a huge fight at work again, which made me realize that people just cannot stand others smarter and uncompromising than them. It was the first time I realized how much the other 3 in my team envy me...and the ends they are willing to go to to hurt me. And they did...on Thursday I was thinking if quitting...well not really but actually that I couldn't stand the situation anymore.

And then today.....a today. Today I was the one who configured the LLU product in the production systems in the company. After a marathon day of meetings and fights etc, after many months of preparation and after a day before which really sucked, today I actually brought this to life and it felt fuc....g great :-)

Especially after Nik sent me a thank you sms...that really made my night:)

Oh....I'm also sick, I have the flue...again......runny nose and a sore throat......but I fell really great:)

After a long time .... sure I have my moments up and down, especially because intelligence really doesn't let you in peace.....

However I still think I am in crisis.....better yes but still in crisis.

I wonder what will make me get out of it completely. I guess peace and a few good months. Hopefully.

I'm tired of people who always take from you without giving anything back. And the last 6 months have been only that.

Anyway its really late and I can barely keep my eyes open.....after only an episode of Boston Legal when I still have One Tree Hill and Gilmore Girls to watch.....but I'm dead:P

I want to go to the theater and see Hamlet B'. I loved that play when I first saw it a couple of years ago with my mom, we went at least a dozen times to see it. And its on stage again this year, I'm dying to go.

Also want to see The Devil wears Prada.....and so many more things I want to do but it just seems time is never enough. Oh well......I'm too lonely......

I remembered a couple of days ago, because of a chat I had with a friend my trip to Venice.

And I remembered when the vaporeto took the final turn to the port of the city of Venice and I saw the gate of the lions and the Doge's Palace.....the Piazza San Marco....the Basilica.

I remembered the gondolas and the murano factory and walking around the old streets and canals of Venice.

Buying a murano pendant and a murano vase. And my most vivid memory......passing in front of hotel Danielli's and promising myself that one day I would get to stay there.

Well I will......I still have a lot of life in front of me to live....free :-)

SDP is not a platform its a nightmare

Back home after almost 38 hours of straight work....SDP is not a platform its a nightmare......

Μιάς και είναι ψιλοαργά και είμαι ακόμα στη δουλειά και βαριέμαι να γράψω αγγλικά βρήκα την ευκαιρία να γκρινιάξω λίγο.

Αυτή η δουλειά είναι πολύ κουραστική. Ικανοποιητική (για μένα) σε διάφορα επίπεδα αλλά είναι κάτι τέτοιες ώρες, ξημερώματα βασικά, που είσαι στη δουλειά από την προηγούμενη μέρα το πρωί και νιώθεις εντελώς μα εντελώς μαλάκας.

Και ναι όντως υπάρχουν εργασίες που πρέπει να γίνονται off working hours αλλά αν είναι έτσι τότε σίγουρα δεν πρέπει να το μαθαίνεις την ίδια μέρα και σίγουρα δεν έρχεσαι κανονικά στη δουλειά τη μία μέρα το πρωί για να φύγεις το άλλο πρωί.

Δείχνει παντελή αδιαφορία και κανένα σεβασμό για τον άνθρωπο. Ok what else is new?

Τα έχουν αυτα θα πει κανείς οι μεγάλες εταιρίες. Δεν συμφωνώ. Τα έχουν οι προιστάμενοι. Και οι υπεύθυνοι.

Και αν σου φέρονται έτσι τότε σε κάποια φάση τα γράφεις κι εσύ στα αρχίδια σου και σταματάς να νοιάζεσαι, απλά 'πασαλείβεις'.

Δεν είμαι σε αυτό το στάδιο και δε θέλω να φτάσω αλλά μετά από 10 χρόνια δουλειάς με μαλάκες έχω αγανακτήσει. Και αναρωτιέμαι πόσο θα αντέξω ακόμα.......

Bad day bad day bad day!!:PPP

You think I'm laughing? I am.......hysterically.

Yesterday just as I left we had a general network failure.

Think that sounds bad? IT IS!!!

The whole network came down with a big crash, all systems all interfaces everything.

And of course when it resumed hell broke loose......don't you just love it when nothing works?:P

I was on stand by so I returned.....it was funny because as soon as I picked up the phone the operators started telling me about the active alarms, after about 3 min I asked them, guys do we have ANY working system?

They said no. Ok I said thats a pretty descriptive answer.

The systems of course are now fine. I on the other hand and many other engineers and vendors and network and IT people are not............we did have anice time though, bonded (for hours) while spending a big part of the night and then again in the morning on company premises.

A the joy f telecoms.....gotta love them.....

People say I m sick to love this job......they have apoint......I do love it though.....

I don't think you can really say anything about a hard day at work till you've tried telecomms. It a whole new ballgame.

Need sleep......again.....

Yes yes yes!

Today is my last day at work! No I'm not fired, I'm just finally having a few days off, before the new season begins (and being responsible for a few things like.....oh the little thing of our brand new - and our own finally- DSLAMS...I think I deserve 5 days) ;)

So anyway, I can't decide what I want to do....well sleep of course....sleep and sleep and sleep and then sleep some more.

See all the movies, and all the plays, go to all the clubs, get out of Athens, stay in Athens, see all 4 seasons of 24 again, since season 5 is about to begin (I definately have missed Jack Bauer!!!), see all 7 seasons of MacGyver again (at least my 100 top episodes)....

I think I'm not going to have time to do all these things :-)

Well I am going to try.....the last few months (years) have been extremely difficult for me and painful in many ways. So in these few days I think I'm not going to make the mistake people usually make, try to please everyone else besides themselves.

So I'm going to have along-overdue rest, switch off (AT LAST) the freaking phone and have a good night sleep (for the last 10 days that I've been on stand-by I was awaken either at 4 or 6 in the morning...why do all problems have to happen at night????) and do all the things that are pleasant and resting for my mind and soul...

Yes I know it sounds lame to watch 24 and MacGyver to relax and rest but what can I do I'm weird:)

I really do feel very very tired, content for what I've achieved in the last few weeks (work stuff, stand by and etc) and yet tired enough to desperately need silence.

I'm a lonely person most of the time, like to travel alone , go to the movies alone, but good company is always welcome (well...almost always...not during travelling)

Its ridicoulous that all I can plan ahead now is to sleep. Well.....thats what I need I guess.

I'm also tired by constantly trying for human interaction (yes I am a computer person to the end).

Always trying to make conversation, being understanding , supportiveblah blah blah....TIRED! I just want to shut up and read. Listen to music. Sleep.

(sleep seems to be the pattern here)

Hopefully I'll also get to drive around a bit, not just home-work, work-home (and shopping) but maybe go a bit further than Athens. If I 'm awake that is.

So, one hour to go.......:)

The pic is Dusty looking at me talking on the phone, contemplating on what would be better, to bite the phone or me?:P

So , today was a difficult day. I've been awake for 48 hours, due to a problem at work. As I've said before I'm a telecommunications analyst. At my company we have a VideoCall platform which last night decided that it was a good time to...well.....stop making video calls :) So of course my team was there until the problem was solved.

I came home a few hours ago, its 8:30 pm now here in Athens, and tried to sleep but no luck. I was of course tired but also tense so I decided to get back here:)

Lately I've been thinking of how the Internet ultimately defined my life up to now. I've been on line for 13 years. In that time I've made friends on line, have laughed and cried, have kept in touch with friends who were away, friends I had met on line, people I came to consider as friends even though we never met in person.

Once I even fell in love on line. But I was way to young then so it doesn't count;) (whenever I hear Mobby's Everloving however I remember that time, I've never encountered a more....well intimate way of anyone declaring their love but that email that I received with that song attached .......memories define who we are and I love mine)

And the truth is that now, after time has passed and I look back with a cool look on my face and a melancholy in my heart I realize that my life is so entirely tangled up with the Internet that it is almost as if a huge part of my world is in here.

Don't get me wrong I love to go out, and have fun with friends, and travel (most of all that - travel travel travel...and then some more). But when I'm on line...well I'm home.

Its like if the Internet brings all the people of this world in one big community, where no discrimination is acceptable , where of course there are bad things but so so many good things.

For example I've come to consider Simon Travaglia and his Bastard Operator from Hell a soul mate:) And how can my day begin without a walk around the usual neighborhood of friendly sites?

Every morning I say hello to so many of my friends through Icq and MSN, people that maybe I haven't seen for years, who are in different countries, continents even.

But it is through this marvelous network, this mean of free or almost free at least communication, the Internet that all this is possible. God, I love working in communications, of putting a small brick, but still a brick in this huge network that makes our world a small community.

It is I believe through the Internet that freedom is still possible. Because media can be governed by interests, governments can be bought, movies can be propaganda but TCP/IP will always be there, finding endless alternate routes to bring mine and your words to every mind and heart open to receive them.