InBetween Days*

What a year......let me rephrase.....WHAT A YEAR!!!!

It matters not how straight the gate etc etc my head is bloody but unbowed etc etc I'm the master of my fate I'm the captain of my soul. Right.

It is probably useless to try even summarise this past year, useless and unnececerily painful.

So what I can now honestly say is that the last seconds of this year did go with a bang...one I did not anticipate nor expect and I got to face some of my daemons and they were really......kind with me at that confrontation.

To all who have been there in this past year thank you. To all who have not.......I kind of expected it so no worries ( I use that a lot these days)

As Queen Elizabeth of the Tudors said in her Tilbury speech before the battle with the Spanish Armada which changed the course of european history (yes I still do love the Tudors)

'I know I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too, and think foul scorn that Parma or Spain, or any prince of Europe, should dare to invade the borders of my realm;'

I could say the same just replace the world England with Self and Parma and Spain with anything that puts one's self in jeopardy and borders of my realm...borders of my consciousness.

Self.....my self....my conscioussness.....my self awareness......which has been put on the line far too many times to count or mention in the last year.....I reclaim it this year.

I want to live. I want to live without fear. So I am prepared to fight, and again as Elizabeth said, to put down in the dust my honour and my blood even. Well not quite so tragically as in battle maybe but in this battle we call life casualties are often less then obvious but casualties nonetheless.

Solitude. I grow and with me my solitude grows, as a steady companion and comforting surrounding. I thought I understood Rilke years ago but every year that passes his Letters
seem to make more and more sense. Everyday I see people afraid of loneliness getting into situations destined to destroy their own individuality.......I say do not be afraid of your loneliness , embrace it and find your solitude and someday you ll be able (probably if you re lucky) to find someone to stand beside you, guarding each other's solitude. But that's maybe asking too much.

They didn't call them the Dark Ages because it was dark. How right you were Daniel.....

So to sum up a post that really doesn't make much sense.......to the year that passed.......I have only one word form Puccini's Nessun Dorma :

'Vincerò!'

I got to cry again at La Traviata and that was far more than I expected.

And I got to feel things I thought were lost to me so a big salute to Life for her unbelievable and unmistakable ways.......one wink to the Universe just for being (or not being who knows anyway):)

And for the New Year I wish......I wish for myself and for everyone Sapere Aude! Dare to know. Kant's motto of enlightment and “the freedom to make public use of one’s reason in all matters” .

Enlightment, reason , knowledge, a bit of chance, dare and ...maybe.....someone to guard each others solitude.

I think that is enough for one year......one lifetime even :)

As always......I still claim to be Noÿs Lambent, non-Eternal, agent of Reality change and hopeless dreamer of a humanity that will reach the Stars







And now......reality.sys corrupted......reboot Self (not Universe at least not yet anyhow) :-)

*by The Cure (which I shamelessly admit I do like)