A, those Sunday nights......always with a sense of melancholy, never quite a holiday;) Have you ever noticed that even though Sunday is not a working day you're never in such a good mood as on a Saturday? Well its always like that for me.

Anyway, I was thinking about love...yeah a strange topic to be thinking about right? Well what I was thinking about was the ideal love, the one we read about in Romeo and Juliet, the one we see in paintings and listen to in countless songs and works of art.

For who can listen to Puccini's Nessun Dorma and not feel the composer genius in every single note? Who can hear Violeta sing 'Amami Alfredo' in La Traviata and not have chills going through his spine? I was fortunate enough to see a modern version of the opera Romeo and Juliet in the Opera House in Vienna, Juliet was in tight leather pants and a corset and Romeo was every woman's fantasy, however what was amazing, what swept me off my feet was not the apparent sexuality but still the power of the music.

And as Barbra Streizant so eloquently put it in a movie I love 'The mirror has two faces', why do we still want, desire and ultimately fall in love when it is beyond any doubt that it is painful, possibly tragic, and most of the time will make our heart break in half?

Because it feel so fu*ng great! :)

Because every time you are in love the world becomes so much more colorful, everyday is like Xmas eve and because even the pain of missing the other person is so bitter-sweet that its like a drug, you keep asking for more. And because, lets face it, our lives are characterized by our loneliness. Human beings are lonely creatures, they try to go through life sharing some things along the way, but we come screaming into this world and leave it, screaming again because we don't want to let go.

I remember distintively the final scene in a movie , 'Meet Joe Black', where Death, played by Brad Pitt, has to say goodbye to life, a life he chose to experience in order to see what is that wonderful thing that all these people who die do not want to let go. So Joe Black (Death) is looking at the fireworks, for the birthday party of the man he has come to take with him (Anthony Hopkins), whose daughter he fell in love with.

"
: It's hard to let go isn't it?
:: Yes it is, Bill.
: Well that's life, what can I tell you. "

We never want to let go, thats the truth. But we are so lonely while we are here that love, the feeling of being in love, is so intoxicating because we feel that even if it is fo a little while, our loneliness is no more, we share our thoughts and feelings with another human being that we feel is so close to our souls, like the half we always expected to find.

Of course love is experienced according to one's spiritual and mental growth. The more evolved the individual the more intense the love experience will be. And of course add to that the bonus of sex and what you have is the good ol'recipe for harmless intoxication by endorfines.

I sound cynic right?

Well I' m not:) Besides chemistry and psychology, besides any scientific or other explanation we try to find, love is one of life's mysteries. We may try to understand it , or reason about it but its impossilbe.

Its grandure lies in the mystery of its nature, and as long as it lasts it does feel wonderfully , uniquely, tremendeously fuck*ng great!

Lucky are the ones who experience it, and when face with it one must not linger or fear. One must go for it cause even the pain is better than the alternative. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived.


As Ted Arroway to Ellie (I always thought of Ellie as my alter ego) says in Contact :

"You’re an interesting species, an interesting mix.
You’re capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares.
You fell so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you’re not.
See, in all our searching, the only thing we found that
makes the emptiness bearable is each other "


Ever since I saw and read Contact it was these words that always summarised
in the most precice way my desire to Know :

Palmer Joss:
By doing this, you're willing to give your life, you're willing to die for it. Why?

Ellie Arroway:
For as long as I can remember, I've been searching for something, some
reason why we're here. What are we doing here? Who are we? If this is a
chance to find out even just a little part of that answer... I don't
know, I think it's worth a human life. Don't you?