So it's Xmas:)

Actually its almost New Years Eve and my msn tagline is 'Noone should be alone on Xmas' after seeing for yet another time 'Love actually'

In the last few days I've seen again 'Love Actually' and 'Meet Joe Black' and 'The Fellowship of the ring' and La Boheme (live that one in the Greek National Opera , a really great production of La Boheme, modern and vivid and full of colours, performers young and very talented, indeed a great production. Especially Musseta in a cheerleader's costume. Puccini's music though is eternal and can make your eyes water at any moment and under any circumastances. I was grateful my spirit was still able to weep at La Boheme)

I ve also seen a couple of theaters , worst or most hilarious (any way you wish to put it ) the one K.Dandoulaki stars in this year. Really bad choice.

Its the first time after 3 years I have a 2 week holiday during Xmas.

I was supposed to be in Vienna or Prague now but things have a way of working out for themselves and I was unable to go. I was actually literraly unable to go.

I am not well yet even though each day is yet another fight and sometimes this fight gets extremely tiresome.

I read and re-read Rilke's letters about solitude, I read Kahlil Gibran's Prophet and Jonathan Livingston Seagul and yet I still lack the strenght, as if my final remains of strength are only barely enough to get me through each day.

I am tired of the reckless and meaningless pretenses of people, of 'trains filled with the foolish and the faithless' as my beloved Walt Whitman says.

I live what Thoreau described as 'lives of quiet desperation' and I am trying but there is just no Earendil's light for me.

I am tired. And thats really not a nice thing to write for possibly the last post of the yhear but I am so tired. I appear to be great and everything but the truth is if I ever desperattely needed help and meaning that time would be now.

Life is very beautiful but also very lonely. And it is especially during Xmas that loneliness may become unbearable.

Anyway, I do wish Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year to the world......and I hope its a year with meaning and light.