Sherlock....brainy is the new sexy

Two men, two bikes the long way round, happy new year pt2

Not one heartbeat do I forget

Lost in Austen

Amazing! Jane Austen must be turning in her grave but still amazing!!!!!!

Not one heartbeat do I forget! Brilliant!

"I love you.
I didn't know that.
But it is clear to me now that I have always loved you.
Every time I've fallen for a man, I've closed my eyes and it's been you.
Even Michael, and I pretty much lived with him for a year.
So, yes. I have a past. But every...instant in it contains you.
Everything I am.....belongs to you."




Mr.Darcy, Pemberley, Elizabeth Bennet and now Amanda Price.......I'm so in love!

Rarely has there been a character as everlasting and romantically inspiring as Elizabeth Bennet. A witty, defiant, annoyingly wit-spirited, funny under social circumstances that frowned uppon fun, independent...tottaly brilliant.

Elizabeth Bennet is the epitome of the all-time classic female romantic figure, in a book which seems to be all about manners and well kept gardens but in truth.....Pride and Prejudice is about what we see and what we believe, the road to understanding and actually putting prejudice...and pride aside in order to really see into one another.

When Mr.Darcy sees Elizabeth he is not taken to her, she is not what a young woman of her age should be, not acclaimed to music or singing. She reads and laughs and is independent and witty. But he is irreversably attracted to her as she to him as the book continues because of his character, because of his truth.

Well in this series Elizabeth Bennet comes into the 21st century (as is so fitting for such an independent figure) and Amanda Price, a young lady that has gone through the battle of the sexes of this century, takes her place(not so lightly though, with a lot of self-battling and with a thrilling twist right at the end- not a heartbeat do I forget).

A young woman with all her notoriously known characteristics and a dash of 21st century.

I never expected to see one of my favourite heroes ripped apart and then put back in such a way but Lost in Austen has really captured (for me) the Jane Austen spirit, and my favourite book (I am not particularly fond of the rest except for Sense and Sensibility)

It is indeed a dream to find Mr.Darcy behind a door in your bathroom but my only problem continues to be....I'm still greatly and ever so strongly tied to the 21st century...(but I wouldn't mind Mr.Darcy)

OTH Lucas&Peyton

"What remained in that bizarre, muffled silence was only Peyton. The girl whose art, passion, and beauty had changed my life. In that moment, my triumph was not a state championship, but simple clarity. The realization that we had always been meant for each other and every instinct to the contrary had simply been a denial of the following truth - I was now and would a l w a y s be in love with Peyton Sawyer."




After watching last night's episode of OTH I can only remember the final episode of season 4 and realize, believe, have absolute certainty, whatever you wish to call it, that these loves, and only these, are loves that do not die, they absolutely refuse to die no matter the hardships and the pains, no matter the diversions......loves like Lucas and Peyton just do not die.

One would have to have watched OTH to understand but Luca's final words in his book are I think pretty adequate. I love watching them both......

"The most perfect act of love is sacrifice"

Taken from a fan who could not have put it better than me :





"

After she said "I love you Lucas" she let out this sigh that really showed just how hard it was for her to be saying what she was about to say. Hilarie was perfect in that scene.

Gawd, this killed me. Literally, it killed me. It stopped my heart. It's one of those sounds that you make when you're trying to hold back tears, because you really don't want to cry again, but you're just to hurt and upset to stop them. And then the way she looks down when she makes it.......oh, man. And Hilarie....there really cannot be enough good things said about her. She made the episode what it is: A staple in LP's relationship."

Side order of life

I have been unable to write.....

Maybe because of the hectic period that has been my life for the past couple of months, maybe some events finally caught up with me and silenced my voice and maybe because once again I felt like I m drifting in life with no meaning other than going through the everyday difficulties....

But tonight watching an episode of a new series, called 'Side order of life' I heard what was probably sort of a wake up call.....

One of the characters has a terminal disease and she orders a full - fat meal.....her friend orders a salad with the dressing on the side

And she says to her 'You take your salad with the dressing and no side orders! Life is not about side orders!'

The thing is......life is indeed not about side orders......

You go through it and you worry about things like calories or what your ass looks like or if he will call you in the morning or....or.....or......

The only thing I wanted from life was.....well.....everything :)

And I think this is the only way to go through life, asking for everything.....

You grow up and society requests that you abide by the 'rules', all the rules that say you have to give up your individuality and the search for who you are your personality to follow the usual steps, and end up sadder and lonelier and unable to recover the individuality you had when you were starting

MacGyver said some people are afraid of those who run free.....

I have come to embrace my loneliness, my path , my own company.....

I did take the road less traveled not fully aware what I was doing at the time but now fully aware....

You never heal from the wounds of the past and as I grow older I miss more the people I will never get to see again and the life I will never get to have wit them...and I am talking about grandparents not lovers

As far as lovers is concerned...well the one that had the most painful effect on my life came back telling me he was wrong in his choices but it is too late......life has moved on and so have we both...

I wonder if there will ever be a time when I will be less alone, even though spiritually I hope so but do not dare to hope

Rainer Maria Rilke wrote :

"......I don't want you to be without a greeting from me when Christmas comes and when you, in the midst of the holiday, are bearing your solitude more heavily than usual. But when you notice that it is vast, you should be happy; for what (you should ask yourself) would a solitude be that was not vast; there is only one solitude, and it is vast, heavy, difficult to bear, and almost everyone has hours when he would gladly exchange it for any kind of sociability, however trivial or cheap, for the tiniest outward agreement with the first person who comes along, the most unworthy. . . . But perhaps these are the very hours during which solitude grows; for its growing is painful as the growing of boys and sad as the beginning of spring. But that must not confuse you. What is necessary, after all, is only this: solitude, vast inner solitude. To walk inside yourself and meet no one for hours - that is what you must be able to attain. To be solitary as you were when you were a child, when the grown-ups walked around involved with matters that seemed large and important because they looked so busy and because you didn't understand a thing about what they were doing. "

Solitary.......

Oh I have been pretty busy the last few months, being project manager of the AAA upgrade project, successfully finishing it, getting a lot of credit for it, having a lot of work related success and victories, working day and night and forgetting about myself, learning like crazy, moving offices, seeing people for what they really are, cowards (some of them), and seeing also how great friends others are...

I enjoy my solitude , I need it now.....

I have so little time to give to anyone that requests it and so many request it that I avoid them in order to have some time to restore myself from an everyday life that is too hectic to bare

And I still haven't found THE meaning but I have become much less conversational about it, the next person that tells me its time to get married and have kids is in for a black eye

I m not ready to have kids or get married, I dunno if I ever will be and at this point I m not ready or willing to be commited to anyone either

All I want is .....everything :)

And I think somewhere along the way, after many more poetry by Rilke and Kahlil Gibran, many more paintings by Canaletto and Da Vinci, many more movies and books etc etc...there is someone along the way that I might be able to share my solitude with

But not yet.....

Oh I did go to the airport the night of July 20 , a Friday and got the first copy of the airplane-delivered first edition of the final chapter in the Harry Potter series. And I cried because Dobby the house elf dies, and because Harry diggs up the grave for that brave house elf with his own bare hands.

It seems that as Galadriel says even the smallest person can change the course of the future......

Oh and here is something from a collegue who had a side I never knew or imagined he had :) Way to go Kostas!!!

Ally McBeal

I have a new fascination with a rather outdated TV series , Ally McBeal.

Even though its an older series which is finished I only recently started watching it on DVD. And I so many times find me identifying myself in the characters, mostly Ally, that I just cant get enough of it.

Its not really about sex or relationships only. Its so......I don't know exactly how to describe it, but its so.....full of humanity. In most series or movies a standard moral message comes across, like 'cheating is a bad thing', 'loving more than one person is impossible', 'anyone seeing dancing babies is crazy', 'anyone dancing in the street is insane', 'you can't wear mini skirts in the workplace' etc etc.....

Well Ally McBeal has all sorts of human faults.....and sensitivities.......and is almost impossible to understand most of the time but is also incredibly charming.

Most people who differ in this way are forced to change in order to fit in. And in the process loose their individuality, the joy they get out of the smallest thing, their 'craziness'.

I remember a line Ally said :

"Sometimes I feel I'm being unfaithful to love itself" referring to relationships that are not really that great, relationships or dates that you go to just because its a social prerequisite.

In another episode a laugh therapist told her to find a song to sing in her head to lift her up when she is down, to give her confidence when she lacks it.....

Well this song for me is 'Jump!' the Pointer Sisters version.....it literally makes me dance in the streets, lifts my spirits, makes me happy. But I never realised that until I saw Ally.

And most of all, this character is about being ok being different. Being ok not compromising. Being ok daydreaming. Being ok being weak. And finding strength in that weakness. Finding friendship where you least expect it , like the wife of the man you're in love with but can't have.

And when faced with a dancing baby-fantasy what did she do? Crack up? Go crazy? Loose it? Decide to compromise?

Nope.

She danced with it.........what a woman!