December 1!:)

The first day of the last month of the year. The month of Xmas and New Year's eve and everything.

The month u know the town gets all shiny and happy, when you go shopping without any guilt trips, when u know u'll spend half the days possibly drunk or with a hangover, when you'll get that extra bonus from work, but at the end you'll have even less money left, the month you remember what it was like to be a kid, with your family under the Xmas tree, opening presents.....

I love this month! Its probably my most most favorite month. It wasn't always a happy one but still there are so many happy memories I have, the fact that it is the final month of the year, when you can finally relax a bit, the year is almost over, you can sit back and wait it out.

When the year starts you're determined to make all these things happen, make this a great year etc etc. But....things don't always work out, life has its own plans. In December no more plans, just 31 days till New Year. Even though this year I have no planned vacations, I will be working through Xmas and New Year and quite hard cause the rest of my team will be on vacations, I'm still so happy.

I cant wait to go downtown and see Syntagma Square all made up for the holidays. And see hopefully the first snow.

My happiest memory from Xmas times is not one of my many journeys (because every year during Xmas time I go on a trip).

My happiest memory is of a Xmas time, when I was maybe 5, I can't really remember. When I went to sleep at night it was very cold but no snow just freezing cold. In the morning my grandpa came in the room, woke me up, opened the balcony door.......to a snow covered garden, glistening in the first light. Pure, white snow, had covered everything and was so amazingly beautiful I remember it still. There are some images that just leave a clear and definitive imprint on our minds and souls. Well that image has left one in me. Any happy moment after that has to be compared to that......and is found wanting. I was so so young, just beginning to understand my world, and I was loved, God, so much loved by my family, thing for which I am so grateful, it has defined me, made me make it through the hard times, because the memory, the warmth of that love is with me still, even though the people are long gone.

Another beloved memory of Xmas I have is of Xmas evening. After dinner when everyone was going to bed I was left in the great salon, where the Xmas tree was. I was alone everyone was getting ready to sleep, and it was ery quiet, but the tree was all lit up, there was a silent buzz from the xmas lights. I sat on the couch, looked at the tree and just drifted in thoughts. And I distinctively remember saying to myself, remember this moment as one of perfect happiness. Grasp it, savour it, to be able to relive it when you'll no longer have the people who define your happiness. It surprises me now how I could perceive loss when I was so young and had not yet experienced it.

There was another time, I was in Austria. I went to the Imperial Ball at Hofburg Palace. Ok another night to remember, or the other time in Prague such a special time, or in Cairo visiting Han El Halili at the middle of the night, or in Dooze in Tynisia, or in London or in Paris or.....so many places, so many Xmas times.

I love Xmas, did I say that? :-)

But at the same time I miss my family so so much during those times. Its hard, so so hard from a large family to be left with one other person. And I know my mom feels the loss just as much as I do so I have to put on my happy face and try to cheer her up.

She's a lovely person, I can't stand it when she hurts. I can be strong enough for the both of us. But ....sometimes......I just wish........

Never mind:)

Anyway, for all those happy moments in the past thank you, and for all the happy ones to come, I can't wait!!!

As Mac says 'Another day, a whole other set of new possibilities! I'm a sucker for mornings' ;-)

Well....I'm also a sucker for Xmas!